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 why i do it » |
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| all of the above before you say i do break my heart before you say 'i do'
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ I began writing this song in 1999, but never finished it since i didn't really have a specific wife in mind at the time. I finally finished it-- the day of my wedding. Talk about cutting it close... and yeah, i DEFINITELY had an amazing wife^ in mind by that time... carry me away fairy tales her time to dance |
here and now how can You still love me i just missed her why i do it
Since 1986, i've been writing songs, both praise songs and solo work. For whatever reason, people have implied that God has gifted me. They say that God has used my stuff to help them see His Son more clearly and to realize that they are not alone in the trials they are experiencing. For there are always famines in the faith. So... here's some of the songs in mp3 form, along with a brief summary of what each are about (just 'click' on any of the above titles and the summary will appear, along with links to the mp3 and lyrics). They are definitely raw, both vocally and musically... but if they can help or encourage you, praise God. If not-- hey, they're free, don't complain. So why do i do it? I don't really know... probably just because i can do something i love to do; how cool is that!
hume lake outdoor education middle school romance
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ After years and years of working at Hume Lake's Outdoor Education^ program (science camp), it wasn't until I was a mere guest counselor with a group of school kids that it hit me: write a lame song about O.E. romances. They're so goofy and they always fall apart after MUCHO DRAMA, and it makes me laugh because I was EXACTLY the same way when I was in middle school. Anydeal, I think this song will appeal to anyone who ever graced a science (or summer) camp as a kid. Enjoy! Special thanks to Daniel Van Duzer and Cameron Caldwell for keeping me committed to getting the song online. if only xenoviv - beyond alone
listen to the song^ Beyond Alone is a song which was supposed to be the theme song for the Hume Lake Christian Camp^ high school summer camp in 2004. Unfortunately the folks who had me working on it got pulled from the assignment, and my song was a whole lot of working for zip. I even had Jessie whispering a poem (called "Creatures") behind the music... Oh, well... such is life. There was a vocal part to the song as well, and supposedly it got as far as Hume Lake recording the whole shebang using one of their vocalists. I've never heard the recording, but hopefully someday I'll get the opportunity to finally hear the completion of my creation. Kind of frustrating, but at least i got to try my hand at something different. Come to think of it, maybe they just thought it was lame. listen to the song with Jessie's whispers^ read the original lyrics (not in song)^ read the poem "Creatures"^ inside out fairy tales
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Love is definitely not a fairy tale (as we are led to dream in adolescence), and this is about the reality that truly outshines the fantasy. Written for a wedding (Mike and Cindy Vanderhorst) in the early '90's, i've been asked to sing it in many weddings since... here and now
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ This one was actually dreamed up by a girl named Carrie Moore, with whom i worked at Hume Lake Christian Camps^ in (i think it was) 1993. She had the chorus and 2nd verse, but had brain-farted trying to come up with a tune. So i chipped in a first verse and a bridge, and put the whole jingle to the tune of a love song i was trying to write. Last i knew, Carrie lived in Boston. She was rad, and could totally sing-- this song was supposed to be mixed as a duet, by the way. i just missed her
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Another attempt at a country song. The idea had such potential for a brilliant play on words... unfortunately the song didn't really turn out the way i dreamed it up. Oh, well. Someday i will re-write the whole thing and do it right. if only
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ My first attempt at a country song-- looking back at what could have been... "...if only i could love you twice, i'd love you twice as much..." inside out
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ If you've ever felt like you were plain, even ugly; if you've ever felt like you were so pathetically "normal" that no one would ever find you special... this is a song you may want to hear. I wrote this song about a girl named "Jackie," but it was really a song about me. I don't know why people are so cruel, and make others feel so worthless. Thank God He's not like that-- it's amazing to know that the God of this massive Universe loves a little nothing like me. This song was recorded many years ago, so go easy on the musical critique... kindgom
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ If i really stop to think about it, my worst sins are the ones i actually planned out and carried out. And i was such a judgmental little moron-- a Modern Day Pharisee. This song was the result of realizing such things (along with many other condemning things about myself). I don't like the recording-- i think the vocals are strained and flat in a lot of areas. Nonetheless, the message is powerful (at least to me), so here it is in all its glory. new horizon
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ This was a "dance" ditty i put together for the kids. It may be a bit cheesy, but it was really good for 4th-8th grade youth at that time (believe it or not). I used it to help get them into the music so that when we really got down to the serious stuff, they were right there with me. Not that it always worked out that way... night light
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ A song about how i became a Christian (read more about it in my testimony)... a simple song, yet one with special meaning to me... not my will
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ We are wrong to think that Jesus casually said, "Not my will, but Yours be done..." to the Father. I think He said it with great anguish at times... to the point of sweating blood! This is a song that grapples with that anguish and the perplexity of being given a will that often sets itself in complete opposition to the God who granted it in the first place.. tears
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Jesus was actually quoting David (who was uttering a very common Hebrew cry - Psalm 22^) when He said, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" on the cross. I have felt that cry in my soul at times in my life, times when the storm seems unbearable and the hour seems so dark. If you've ever felt that way, when faith seems so utterly far from reach, and the horizon so far from view... then perhaps this song is for you... waiting in covington
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Once upon a time i had a girlfriend who lived in Louisiana. On a visit to see her, we spent an afternoon meandering the streets of Covington, including finding a picturesque little church. I had never thought Louisiana could be appealing to me (a mountain/ocean boy by nature), but i found a distinct beauty in the small town across Lake Pontchartrain from New Orleans. She broke up with me, but being the defiant one that i am, i bought a ticket to the Big Easy and told her i'd be waiting for her at the church in Covington-- thus the song, "Waiting In Covington." No, i never went... nor did i ever see her again. God had better things in store... kingdom carry me away
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Realization that i am a wretched man can be disheartening at times. There are days when i wish God would just carry me away from my tainted heart... for, in so many ways, i am just a "thief upon a cross." no one but You
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ I think one of the biggest struggles for most people in life is... love. Romance. Finding that partner, that companion... longing for someone who will walk beside you, someone who will take away the loneliness of life on this planet. And so we dream, beg God, connive... play... sin... trying to find that "perfect someone"... and we end up exalting the dream higher than God Himself. This is a song that deals with such things... and with how it should be between me and my Lord. |
new horizon night light no one but You not my will tears how can You still love me listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ I'm not sure why (because it's my longest and least catchy), but God has really used this one to touch a lot of people. It's about a Living God who would love me in spite of how pathetic i am, in spite of how often i turn away, disobey, seek love elsewhere-- and don't even want to praise His Name... waiting in covington |
hume lake OE middle school romance xenoviv i'm thankful, yes i am
i'm thankful, yes i am (by Cornelius the Wanderer)
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Written for my 8th grade students in 2004 at Ventura Missionary School^. it was Thanksgiving, and each teacher was required to have their homeroom students do some sort of a presentation for the school's Thanksgiving Chapel. So a group of students got together and wrote a hilarious script, part of which called for a poem to be read by a street bum (Cornelius the Wanderer) who is reprimanding an escaped (and quite grumpy) hospital patient in an England slum, telling him that he should be thankful for all the good things in his life. I turned it into a pathetic rap-like thing and had other street bums dancing behind Cornelius as he broke into song and dance. And yes, that's me doing all of the harmonies as well. Needless to say, the crowd was thankful (yes they were) when it was all over. :) wildwood wildwood listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Written as a donated project to Hume Lake Christian Camps' Wildwood Camp^, "Wildwood" is a song about deepening faith through the "mountaintop" experience. So many of us have gone through such wonderful moments of truth standing at a crossroads in life while at a camp. For whatever reason, God likes to use camp experiences to change us or to take us to the next level in our journey with Him. And while I wrote the song, all of the instruments/programming, guitar arrangements, mixing and mastering was done by a very talented friend, Michael James of Son Struck Studios located in Ventura, CA. I asked him if he could play a little guitar for the song, and it turned into me asking him to enslave himself to the project. My deepest gratitude, Mike. You rock. |
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break my heart
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ One of God's names is Jealous (Exodus 34:14^). There have been times in life when God will break our hearts to win us back to Him... this song is my way of saying, "if this is what it takes to bring me back to You... then break my heart..." all of the above
listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ Written for my beautiful wife, Jessica Ann^. It was one of two surprise songs that I sang to her at our wedding. She was under the impression that i hadn't had enough time to write her a song (let alone two) and that i was going to sing a song i had written for her back before we were engaged... her time to dance listen to the song^ read the lyrics^ In May of 2003, my grandma died. Five months later, my other grandma died. Before she died, as Jessie^ and I spent time with her, these words came to me. Both of my grandmas loved Jesus with a passion that helped inspire my own passion for Christ. The concept of this song was inspired by a picture of grandma McMillen dancing with grandpa at my cousin's wedding (yeah, you've gotta see the picture!). If you've lost someone who gave their life to Christ, there is an unexplanable joy in knowing that they are in the very presence of the Creator of the universe! Face to face, eye to eye... toe to toe upon the dance floor. If you have lost someone who loved Christ, I pray this song helps you as you grieve... or just remember with tears of joy. Special thanks to Ryan Wissink of Hume Lake Christian Camps^ who sacrificed his time and energy to record the song live on the Hume Lake stage. |
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